


My Life's Best Part

by gv2oo_gavin



Series: Detroit Oneshots [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxious Gavin Reed, Asexual Upgraded Connor | RK900, Asexuality, Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mute Upgraded Connor | RK900, Not exactly mute but he only speaks when necessary, Short & Sweet, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26137165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gv2oo_gavin/pseuds/gv2oo_gavin
Summary: Gavin’s struggled to eat when his anxiety’s been playing up for as long as he remembers, and when androids threatened to steal his job, the one thing he has left to love, it gets worse.That is, until a certain quiet android sneaks into his life and shows him there’s more than just his job to love, and this time it sticks around.TW: Eating Disorders, Swearing.Summaries aren’t my strong point but the fic itself is alright I swear
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Series: Detroit Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898062
Comments: 7
Kudos: 90





	My Life's Best Part

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a lyric from the song 'You' by Keaton Henson; 'If you must die, die knowing your life was my life's best part.' But I skipped the death bit because this fic isn't actually as angsty as my other one named after the same song.
> 
> I found this in my notes and I wrote it many moons ago, and it’s actually not bad so take it or leave it  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Gavin picked at the food Nines had made for him, the android washing up at Gavin’s sink. They’d been living together for nearly a week now, going out for a month. They knew living together wouldn’t be a big issue, what with how much they already co-operated so well. And as predicted, living in the same home was fine, sleeping in the same bed was something neither of them could get enough of, as well as it certainly helped Gavin sleep better. And yet...

“I think I’m done, Nines.” Gavin announced quietly, pushing his plate of stir fry away.

Nines looked behind him at Gavin’s plate. The human had taken a few mouthfuls at most, and Nines sighed. Gavin felt his heart pick up at that sigh, at the drawn out silence afterwards, of Nines placing a saucepan on the drying rack, wiping his soapy hands on a tea towel. He leaned back against the countertop, facing Gavin with his arms crossed. “6 days, Gavin. This is the sixth day you’ve refused to finish your food. You always told me you ate fine, that you just didn’t gain much weight. I know now that I should have pushed you more, instead of leaving it at that.”

There’s always been a link, between Gavin’s eating habits and his anxiety. He thought it’d finally gone away once he’d settled down and got used to a lonely life, being married to his job and living with his cat, it’d felt like all he needed. That was until Connor appeared. The fear of not only losing his job, but of the android himself after their fight in the evidence locker, had gripped him hard, yanked him away from routine and normality. The androids grew in numbers, and then deviant androids grew in numbers, until suddenly, in a matter of weeks came the revolution. It took him months to stop feeling the fear that bubbled in his stomach every time Connor looked at him, with all he could remember being those cold, emotionless eyes looking down on him as he was knocked unconscious effortlessly. Gavin had begun skipping lunch at some point. It didn’t stop there, though, because then Nines came along; the android assigned to be his partner. The reality of the situation had hit him twice as hard as with Connor; fear of losing his job, fear of Nines himself. Considering what Connor had done to him so easily, he could only guess what the faster, stronger and more resilient version could do. Nines had been quiet at first, shy. He still is shy around most people, but not Gavin, not anymore. It hadn’t taken Gavin long to realise Nines was nothing like his bold, confident, popular predecessor. It also hadn’t taken Gavin long to grow used to, and even appreciate, Nines’ personality. But if you thought their calm, friendly dynamic would quell Gavin’s worry, you were wrong. Gavin hated that he’d began trusting an android of all things so quickly, that even the presence of Nines calmed him more than anything else. He had feared what it would lead to for a while, and that was exactly what happened. He started developing deeper feelings for the android the more Nines opened up to him, and when he heard the android laugh for the first time, Gavin had felt his heart swell, or skip a beat, or both, and it put something uneasy in his stomach when he realised his true feelings for the android.

And the unease stuck there, even after Nines felt the same, even after they started going out, even after they started living together, and soon enough he realised his fear had turned into relationship anxiety. It’s not that Gavin is disgusted by food. When he isn’t anxious, he kinda likes it, but he’s felt uneasy and constantly uncomfortable for so damn long now he’s forgotten the last time he liked any food. It just really makes him feel sick after hardly anything, and by this point he’s eaten all but a few mouthfuls a day, and before Nines moved in he sometimes ate nothing. He hasn’t been in a relationship in so long, and all the other times it hadn’t lasted long and- it’s too much, everything is too much.

“Answer me, Gavin.” Nines sounded stern tonight, making it clear he’d had enough of Gavin’s bullshit excuses. When Nines spoke next, his voice gradually turned louder and more desperate. “You get thinner by the day. Your ribs and the edges of your pelvis jut out from your skin. Your stomach is hollowed inwards, and I won’t, I cannot just stand by and do nothing about it!” As he shouted the last few words Gavin flinched, his hands gripping the edges of his seat now. Nines threw his hands in the air and put them on his hips as he panted for a moment, calming down. Gavin also began breathing more heavily, heart hammering. He hated this conversation. He hated it with his parents, his therapists, his previous lovers, hell even Fowler, and now Nines. Will it ever stop? Will he ever be a normal human being? A normal partner who doesn’t make their lover worry 24/7? A partner who isn’t selfish, and can take care of themselves, can fucking eat, for fucks sake. Why can’t he just be normal? Why can’t he just satisfy Nines, the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to him!?? Gavin heard himself whimper in his thoughts, but he only realised he’d whimpered out loud when Nines’ eyes snapped back to him all of a sudden.

“Gavin?” He spoke so softly, now. The shout had been unexpected since his voice is normally smooth as silk, softer than a kitten’s call, like it is now.

“Gavin,” he repeats when he sits next to him at the table. The android’s sudden worry makes the human realise he’s shaking, his knuckles white with how hard they’re gripping his seat edge, staring at his damn food as if willing it just be eaten by itself. “What’s wrong?” Gavin flinches and whimpers again when Nines places a hand on his. But Nines’ hand doesn’t budge. In fact, the android shuffles his chair right up close to Gavin’s, and he holds his shaking human, petting his hair and burying his nose in it. Gavin finally lets go of his seat, turning to bury his face into Nines’ chest. He loves the android’s smell. It’s unbelievable how human-like Nines is, right down to having his own fucking smell.

“Talk to me, Gavin.” The human only just caught Nines’ whisper, muffled against his hair. Gavin buried further into the android’s broad chest. He didn’t want to talk. He really didn’t, he never liked opening up, it always made him feel weak but... not here. Not like this, when Nines is here to comfort instead of judge, Nines who convinces him he loves him and adores him every single day, every single night they’ve lived together. Nines knows he worries but he doesn’t know of its connection to food, he doesn’t know just how serious Gavin’s issues are... and with how much he’s been judged for it, he’s been scared to open up to Nines. 

The android waits patiently as Gavin thinks of how to put this into words, for the hundredth time in his life. “You know, I have anxiety. It- links to my appetite.” Gavin mumbles into Nines’ chest. Nines’ hand petting his hair doesn’t pause like he had expected it to. But Nines was clearly waiting for him to continue, so he did. “I get anxious a lot, and I just. Can’t eat. I can’t stomach it, because my stomach is already churning so damn much. I never have an appetite, anymore.” When he finishes, Nines still seems to wait, so Gavin huffs, “what more do you want from me Nines? I’ve told you everything, I-“ Gavin cuts himself off as Nines pulls away, his eyes are wet.

“Why do you worry Gavin? Why do you still worry?” He murmured quietly, hands on Gavin’s shoulders.

Gavin stared into those glistening blue-grey eyes, reminding him of a calm sea, before he sighs and looks down. He can’t look into this damn beautiful eyes while he whispers, “Relationship anxiety.” He hears Nines’ breath hitch, and Gavin releases a breath he’d apparently been holding. “I-It has nothing to do with you Nines, it- I just haven’t been very lucky. All my past relationships have gone downhill, most people I ever meet just end up steering clear of me. And I think. I think how long it’ll be, before I fuck up everything we have between us as well.” Gavin knows his words will sting. But Nines asked him to open up and he has. At least it’s over now... or so he thinks.

Nines glances down, clearly upset. But he blinks hard and looks straight into Gavin’s eyes, his gaze serious. “Gavin, tell me, how many times have I told you I love you?” The android cups his face, running a thumb over his cheeks. Gavin holds his hand.

“I- I don’t know Nines, I lost count.” Gavin muttered, but he knows it most be something like a thousand.

“871 times, is the answer.” Nines muttered, quiet as ever, “I love you, I love you more than anything in the world. I wouldn’t ever leave you, only if you wanted it. But as for myself, I know you are the perfect man for me. You helped me through deviancy, you helped me understand love, you’ve been there for me through thick and thin.” Nines presses his forehead against Gavin’s, noses brushing, lips centimetres away from each other. “I could never want anything more, or anything better, than you. Because you are everything I could ever desire.” Nines finished, hardly taking a breath after the last word before kissing Gavin. It’s soft, and chaste, and so special because Gavin is full on crying by this point and they can both feel his tears meet their lips. Nines has never said so much in one go, not that Gavin can remember. And goddamn if it wasn’t the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to him. He broke away from the kiss to breathe out shakily for a moment, and they went right back to it. This time Nines kissed him a little harder. It’s still what most would describe a tender kiss, but with Nines, this is something Gavin has never felt before. Nines has kissed him hundreds of times, especially in the last 5 nights when they’ve shared a bed. Every night so far Gavin has fallen asleep feeling soft kisses being planted in his hair, on his neck and his back, sweet nothings being mumbled almost silently against his skin. He loves it, but it seems Nines is feeling passionate tonight. Not only is he kissing him harder but he’s hardly on his own seat anymore, pressed close to Gavin, his hand cupping Gavin’s face stroking his stubble, sliding across the back of his neck and into his hair. 

Nines breaks the kiss after a couple minutes of making out, his scanners detecting Gavin’s arousal instinctively. The android pauses, and Gavin knows exactly what he’s thinking and feeling; guilt.The human reaches out to hold a hand over his mouth the moment Nines opens it. “You’re sorry, I know. Nines, I’ve told you a hundred times! I don’t love you for any of that crap. S’not as good as people make it seem anyway. It’s okay to be uncomfortable with it, I get it. I love you Nines, I don’t- you don’t need to be able to... you know.” Gavin takes his hand away and Nines is smiling. He nods, so at least he’s mostly convinced.

“Thank you for this,” Gavin whispers, giving him one last kiss before deciding to go back to his food, stomach demanding it.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s too sweet ew how did I even write this I have no idea it was like 8 months ago okay
> 
> If you have any oneshot requests do tell me them, I’ll write it if I like your idea. My instagram is gv2oo_gavin
> 
> Also, update for those who read the authors note on Ghost; I might never post that heavy rain fic, one shots are probably more my thing, so I’m not making any promises. I... also may not continue storm clouds... I’m sorryyy it’s just AH chapter fics get so chore like to write after a while and you just start losing interest y’know? I’ll try make myself get back into it but again, I’m makin no promises.


End file.
